Learning to Eat Alone

It wasn’t until I returned to America after living in China for a few years that I realized the awkwardness of eating alone. In China, it was a simple normal occurrence. I didn’t think twice about walking into a noodle shop, sitting at a table by myself, and slurping down a big bowl of beef noodle soup. I ate lunches alone. I ate dinners alone. Most of the apartments I lived in weren’t suitable for cooking and, being a typical single guy in my late twenties, I wasn’t exactly a chef. So the only thing I ever made in my apartment was coffee. Looking back on it, I’m fairly certain even the coffee was bad. 

Don’t feel sorry for me. I didn’t eat every meal alone! I would meet friends for meals quite often. Multiple times a week I would find myself around the table with Chinese friends, American friends, and other friends from all over the world. I’ve always been fairly good at meeting people and making friends. So this isn’t a sob story. I enjoyed those meals alone. It never once crossed my mind that I should be sad about it or feel sorry for myself. Eating alone was a simple fact of living in a major city, not having plans on a particular evening, and going out for a quick meal.

Eating alone was sometimes freeing in many ways. I could make my own choice for what I wanted to eat, I could eat as fast or as slow as I wanted, I didn’t have to make conversation, and it was often a relaxing time to think and process anything that had been happening in my life recently.

I didn’t just eat alone. I went to the movies alone, I shopped alone, I walked through parks alone, and many other things. Those times of being by myself created some very fond memories and gave me the confidence to just be with myself and my own thoughts. I sometimes think most people are so afraid of their own thoughts that they fill their days with activities, people, and busyness. In the years that I’ve lived back in America, I know I am also guilty. But when I reflect on my days in China, I know that my mind was clear and my heart was full because of the time I spent with myself.